Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
