Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
