I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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