If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my phone needs a breathalizer
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
