if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
