why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
