Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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