You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
