There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
