you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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