Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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