i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
