I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
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College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
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I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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