She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
