party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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