you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
