Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Welp...herpes.
he was CRYING into my vagina
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
