That's intense
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
