Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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