He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
