dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
