i just had sex bonerless
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
