So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I have aggressive nipples.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
