he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
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