hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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