She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
