We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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