just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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