but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
