So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
