Just cropdusted the office
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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