it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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