Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
