when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize