she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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