i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
