Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
