I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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