I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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