i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
