Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
