I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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