he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
