I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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