He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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