I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
