so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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