Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
