Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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