I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
