Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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