Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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