he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
you inspire me to be a worse person
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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