Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
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so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
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I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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