Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
