Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
