bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
