I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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