question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
