I wish they made helmets for livers.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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