he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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