I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Randomize
