do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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