and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I booty called her while she was in labor.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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