i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
